How can I trust doctors?

Throughout my entire process since the very beginning, I have had a hard time trusting my dentist and knowing what is the best decision. When it comes to dental work, treatment gets expensive very quickly and there's not much insurance coverage for it either.
I decided to post about this concept of trusting your doctor and knowing that they are telling the truth. It's really difficult when you want to make the right decisions for your health, and you have to put complete trust in someone you barely know who is making a living off of your problems. I'm not assuming that all doctors want to take your money, regardless of whether you actually need the treatment. I'm simply posing the question, how do we find a doctor we can trust?
Understandably, we go to multiple doctors and seek out multiple opinions. In some cases this can become more confusing. Is the doctor just saying what we want to hear? Are they just giving us an alternative to gain our business? It's a sad thought, but it's something that I think goes through every patient's mind when they are faced with serious medical concerns that are about to cost them a ton of money.
I wish there was some easy answer. I am trying to get through my treatment, but the further I get into it, the further I have to go. Recently I was told, after having an orthotic for my jaw for over a year, that I would now need another orthotic. My consultation made sense, it was understandable and I feel like I can make an educated decision, but how do I know for sure?
My specific case is unique to me, it's not something I can just search for on the internet and find all the answers. Some people decide to go the surgery route. I decided not to, and I'm still happy with that decision. Yet, it is still difficult to put my trust in a dentist and know for certain that they have my best interests at heart.
The previous orthodontist I went to wanted me to go through multiple surgeries, fly to California for the treatment, have an orthotic, braces, etc. I'm glad I didn't go with anything that permanent, but did she really believe she had my best interest at heart? Was that simply the only treatment options she was familiar with and believed to be the best?
I think what is even more difficult perhaps than justifying it to yourself, is justifying it to family. Especially in the case of TMJ when you can't show them your pain, and you can't prove that this is necessary for your own comfort. I've come a long way, and in some cases you have to even justify why you are still going through with this, and why you're worth the cost of treatment.
It's not just having to wear an orthotic, there's also the emotional stress of making these life-changing decisions, being self-conscious, and the lingering problem that you are constantly waiting to be resolved.
I mentioned in a previous post how my orthotic had broken and a few more pieces had come off. I started getting terrible neck pain that I just started to get used to and assumed was just due to stress. At my last visit, my dentist was able to patch up my orthotic so that it no longer was missing the piece. Within a day I woke up with all my neck pain gone! I couldn't believe how quickly it was gone, and I realized that it wasn't just something I had to deal with, it was real and it was further validation for having gone through this whole orthotic process.
Anyway, in the end, we do the best we can with the information we have. It helps to have some people on your side, but it also helps to have some people not on your side so you can really question the decisions you are making and stay objective throughout the process.

Jaw Moved Forward, Now What?

So, as I mentioned in my previous post I was waiting on my consultation for Phase II. I thought I was pretty prepared for what their suggestions would be, but I sure wasn't!
After taking molds of my teeth in the new and improved position, using the orthotic, they could finally see how far apart my teeth were actually sitting. The problem became the space in the front of my teeth, which would be very difficult for me to use. It wouldn't be impossible to live with, but I would literally be unable to use the majority of my front teeth.
Also, this would mean having to put caps on my top and bottom teeth so that they would meet in the back without the orthotic. My dentist didn't want me to have to do that and be unable to use my front teeth, which I'm grateful for. My family seemed to think that I should just deal with the open bite and live with it. As I'm sure I mentioned before, since my teeth have progressively gotten worse over the years, I have actually developed a slight open bite where my teeth are no longer able to connect in the front to tear. I've been having to deal with this since I was 18 years old, I'm 27 years old now, and it's not fun, but it has been manageable.
If I were to go ahead, with my teeth where they are now from the orthotic, it would be twice as bad. Already having experience with this, I just can't imagine having to live the rest of my life like that! If I can avoid it, I will.
So, enter surprise option 4 that I was not aware of. According to my dentist, the jaw joint has a range of motion and resting positions that it can be comfortable in without causing pain to the joint. This may or may not be a wide range. Since my jaw has relaxed into its ideal spot, the joint has begun to heal, and I have found a good position for it to sit. Unfortunately, it is also a bad position for my teeth.
Therefore, my dentist is going to try and find a better position for my teeth, that ALSO keeps my jaw comfortable. This will be done by using a "working orthotic." My stomach sunk when I heard that I would have to go with another orthotic...I also didn't like the idea of trying to reduce the space between my teeth, because I felt like that was what caused the problem to begin with. However, she explained how the jaw isn't just moving up and down, but in multiple directions. She said that the front could move together, closing the gap between my upper and lower teeth, and then the back could separate. This would be ideal, so that the back teeth can be capped and then I'll be done! However there is no guarantee that this new position won't cause pain again in my jaw, so it will be a slow movement process and I'll have to get a before and after CAT scan to make sure my joints aren't firing in the rest position.
So, that is the option I'm leaning towards. I know in previous blog posts I mentioned having to go with braces, in this new option, I will hopefully not need braces at all. That's great, but like I said, there's also no guarantee that the new position won't cause me pain and set me back to square one. So I wouldn't hold my breath...The time for the new orthotic? There was no way for her to tell. She basically felt that it wouldn't be another year, but that she couldn't say for sure.
Why didn't I choose braces? Believe me, it wasn't because I didn't want braces, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting braces as an adult. I was completely fine with that. I did plenty of research, and even my dentist felt that braces were the better option because drilling into your teeth can be very damaging to the nerve. Although it is very rare to lose a tooth that way. Braces mean that they will be my teeth, plus I was told that pricing is comparable for both. The problem with braces is that to move my teeth into this exact new location is complicated. So complicated in fact that it will take five years to move each tooth. Plus, it's not just braces. They will have to glue the orthotic to my teeth, remove parts of it and erupt each tooth so that they connect. My fear in doing this as well, was that after five years of this process, my bite could change. My anatomy could change, and I could need braces down the road again.
The other aspect here is not just time but experience and the exact precision required. My dentist was very honest and felt that they didn't have the skill to do this perfectly.
The scary thing is that I still haven't received the pricing for all of this. She said what a full mouth restoration costs, which is about $60,000. But that doesn't help unless I know exactly how much mine will cost. I just know that I really don't want to live with the orthotic the rest of my life. It is a pain to constantly have to take in and out, brush each night, and talk with, etc. I know they seem like trivial things that I should just get used to, but I just want to have my own teeth to use. Knowing how much crowns tend to cost I'm going to estimate that the whole treatment will cost about $20,000. I can't say for sure though. She is going to email me the breakdown of everything.