5 Ways to have a Good Doctor's Visit

I just got back from a visit with my new orofacial doctor's office. In my last post, I mentioned how I have moved on to a new doctor and am working on a new splint. The one they made previously for me actually multiplied my pain...actually it was 10 times worse than when I started. I literally ended up in tears after two weeks, tore it out of my mouth and felt better not having anything than wearing that splint. Very upsetting experience.

After my visit today I am hopeful, but still extremely wary. Sitting now I can feel my jaw is already very achey in this new version of my splint, but it's still too early to know for sure if it's because of my splint or because of the tapping/grinding motion they had me do to make the adjustments. I really hope things feel better tomorrow.

So, coming into the visit today I was less than pleased. I knew that this was just the beginning, but it is definitely frustrating when you are paying a large sum of money only to feel like you've purchased an expensive torture device. So here are a few tips that I feel I've learned throughout my time visiting orthodontists, dentists, and other doctors. I'm not an expert, so these are purely opinions based off of my most recent visit.

1. Don't start on the wrong foot. Even if you are having a bad experience, jumping in with all of your dislikes will instantly turn the person who is "helping" you, against you. In my personal life and my career I've been on both sides of the customer service conversation - and it applies to the medical industry as well. I've found that it feels as though it's even harder to gain attention and respect when in a medical atmosphere, because it can feel as though you are being treated like an uninformed patient, rather than a person with emotions. Rather than speaking to you as a person, doctors can be somewhat insensitive and speak about your body as if it's not in the room with you.

They've heard it all before and feel they know what's best for you. Either way, starting the appointment with only negative feedback isn't going to get you anywhere. This is typical of any scenario where you are working with another person - they bring their past, thoughts, emotions, life story wherever they go. Yes, you are the customer, but you are also trying to get something you want, hence your emotional intelligence is going to get you farther than an emotional outburst.

2. Listen. Try to listen to their experience in an open and respectful way. Even if you still disagree, giving them the chance to share their side of things will make them feel that their opinion is being valued. Yes, they are human too and they have their own human ego that wants to be fed. When I went into my appointment, I started to try and express what I'd been feeling and what changes I thought might be needed in order to make my splint better. I could instantly see that I was not being heard.

Every time I would start to explain in a calm manner, he would interrupt me and just try to start working instead. He even made me feel like it was my fault for not having scheduled a longer appointment, when I was not aware that this was needed. But I knew I had to take the high road if I was going to get what I wanted. I knew I would have to change my approach. After a little while I inquired as to what he meant by how I was not describing things properly. It was hard not to be insulted, but I try to take myself out of the situation and just focus on what I was trying to accomplish.

When I listened to how he explained what the goal was of the splint adjustments, I was able to not only allow him to open up, but I as a result he listened to me to. I was also able to explain it in a way that suited both of us.

3. Take the high road. Ultimately as long as you get what you need (in my case my splint was adjusted more to my liking) out of the interaction, it was worth it, right? You don't always have to be "right" in order to get what you need from your treatment. Sometimes you need to help the other person come to the conclusion, especially if they feel it is their expertise. It can be difficult for someone to admit that their treatment isn't working, but that's alright. They don't have to admit to anything, they just have to help you and listen to your issues.

4. Be open to not knowing everything. As a patient, this might be your first experience with the treatment, and you are going to someone who has an expertise in that area for a reason. So it's okay to listen and actually change your mind about what you initially thought. You might be wrong, and the treatment might be working, or your solution to something might not be correct.

For example, I thought I knew how my splint should look, but when listening to the medical assistant on his prior experience, I realized that I might be going about it in the wrong way. I started to realize that his methods had worked in the past, so even though the splint wasn't currently working, there was still hope that by cooperating with him I could make it better.

5. Get a second opinion. It's also a possibility that this is not the right doctor, treatment, or office for you. Sometimes it's okay to let go when a treatment isn't working. If you tried to make it work, were open to new ideas and gave it a good shot, but it still doesn't meet your needs then maybe it's time to move on. Don't settle for less when it comes to your health. I had to do that with my last doctor. I was happy with many aspects of the treatment, but the next steps were not in my budget and not going to work for me. Even though it's difficult to pick up everything and start over somewhere else, if it's too difficult trying to make it work, then it's not worth the hassle. If your doctor isn't listening to you or if you aren't seeing the results you want, maybe it's not you, but your doctor.

These are just some of my humble opinions. Sometimes we forget that working with people no matter what situation or what industry is very similar. Having your needs met also means opening yourself up to others. Being an effective communicator and also being a cooperative patient can help you work towards your goals and solutions. Sometimes it's not you, and in that case you just need to move on.

My treatment over the past 4-5 years has weighed on me heavily. Sometimes it brings me to tears just trying to find some relief from the pain I've been experiencing in my jaw, neck, head, and back. I keep moving forward knowing that I will find the solution that is best for me. No one can know exactly what I'm going through, which can sometimes make it even more frustrating to share my situation over and over again. If a doctor isn't able to help, then they aren't for me, but I still respect all people I interact with and at the end of the day I feel I did all I could to be the best person I can be.